• Hi all and welcome to TheWoodHaven2 brought into the 21st Century, kicking and screaming! We all have Alasdair to thank for the vast bulk of the heavy lifting to get us here, no more so than me because he's taken away a huge burden of responsibility from my shoulders and brought us to this new shiny home, with all your previous content (hopefully) still intact! Please peruse and feed back. There is still plenty to do, like changing the colour scheme, adding the banner graphic, tweaking the odd setting here and there so I have added a new thread in the 'Technical Issues, Bugs and Feature Requests' forum for you to add any issues you find, any missing settings or just anything you'd like to see added/removed from the feature set that Xenforo offers. We will get to everything over the coming weeks so please be patient, but add anything at all to the thread I mention above and we promise to get to them over the next few days/weeks/months. In the meantime, please enjoy!

Look after yourselves chaps!!

T

TrimTheKing

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Today I received one of the worst phone calls I’ve ever had, from an old acquaintance, to tell me that one of my oldest friends (friend of 41 years) had died on Friday gone, suspected of taking his own life.

One of the nicest people you could ever meet, didn’t always make the best decisions in his life, but never harmed a single person and didn’t have a bad word for anyone.

Life dealt him some shitty hands but he never stopped playing the game and always appeared full of life.

We’re all old enough to know that we all hide behind a facade at times. We ‘man up’ when crap things find us. We stay strong for the others in our lives.

Well we also need to remember that our own mental health takes a battering at times, and we shouldn’t be ashamed of admitting that!

I’m not going to evangelise to you about opening up, sharing etc, but if one single person shares their burden with another, or a group, rather than take it to an early grave themselves, then the message has helped!

This news has absolutely rocked me, I won’t lie, and since I heard at around 3pm on Monday I have been in absolute shock, and am truly devastated.

Don’t just ‘be strong’ chaps, allow others to carry the burden with you and keep our number as high as possible.

If anyone ever needs a friendly ear to talk, scream, rant or cry into then I’m here!

Go well, men.
 
My condolences Mark, of everything I’ve dealt with in my life coming to terms with friends who have taken their own lives has been one of the hardest things, the old adage that it’s the ones you least expect is so true.
 
Sorry to hear that Mark and having been through something similar I can relate to what you are going through.

Us blokes do tend to hide how we are really feeling as well as to forget to think about how our friends may be really feeling.
 
Condolences Mark; can't say I've ever been in that position but I recently caught up with an old college mate who's son by his first wife was lost the same way - Rob
 
So sorry to hear that Mark I've been where you are now and it's very difficult to come to terms with. As Doug said it's always the people you least expect.
Your message is an important reminder to us all.
 
My condolences to you Mark on the loss of your friend. Also condolences to others that knew him and will also be saddened and shocked by his passing... and the possible way he left. You don't mention him having any family but, if he had, I offer condolences to them also.

That *black dog* sneaks around and lingers in the background waiting for any opportunity... Very few around see the internal struggling some go through on a daily basis. Even what may be little things of no consequence...

Take care all
 
JamesHow said:
That's so sad.

I've often thought of walking away, going AWOL, recently due to relationship breakup and a rubbish divorce settlement (such limited custody rights)
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Sorry to hear that mate. As I say, I’m here to listen if you need an ear that casts no judgement and offers no solution, just to vent!
 
Good post Mark. Men usually hide it. Dark thoughts can overwhelm and be hidden from even close family and friends. My sympathies.
 
JamesHow said:
That's so sad.

I've often thought of walking away, going AWOL, recently due to relationship breakup and a rubbish divorce settlement (such limited custody rights)
Click to expand...
Sorry to read this but glad you've been able to open up - to us if nowhere else. All I can offer is to not go AWOL as you're sure to have friends close by that will support you on this journey going forward... even if only one or two... if not, then here as Mark (@TrimTheKing ) for one has offered 🙏. An ear to bend... anytime needed
 
Sad to hear this.

But I think we, as blokes with a hobby, are lucky. There is this thing I think of as "male pattern socialising". We don't easily get together to talk about the deep issues in life, but a hobby gives an overt reason to connect - cover if you like, which has a wider social support benefit.
 
To anyone reading this, if you find yourself in the abyss, just know that you are not alone. You can tell from the responses above that you are not the first in this little community to be there, and you will not be the last.
There is a lot of support and understanding out there, you just have to open up to find it. There are people who saved my life and I am grateful to them.
S
 
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