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Nervous about Surgeon

Windows

Windows

Old Oak
Joined
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Location
Cumbria & West Kent
I have an upcoming operation. I had a scan and then went to see the surgeon. The surgeon didn’t show me the scan, talk about the scan, or say anything about the operation that was specific to me and my case. Does that seem normal? It was just paperwork - sign the consent form - and responding to my questions in a generic (and non-empathetic) way. I’m feeling very nervous about it now and annoyed at myself for not making him say something about my scan. I was just surprised. Anyone had that before?
 
Sorry to hear of your worries and concerns regarding your appointed surgeon. Id definitely be getting back in touch with him/the hospital - especially the hospital - and making them aware of your concerns.

I've had three operations to my wrist/hands area: a TFCC (Tri-fibro Cartlidge Complex) repair - left wrist, and Trapeziectomy to both thumbs (hence saying wrist/hands area). All done by the same surgeon who explained clearly what was involved and what he'd be doing. Because of this I had no concerns... worries? yes for possible effects of the anesthesia and such... but none for the operations.

You haven't said what the operation is for, fully respected, but whatever ANY operation is for the surgeon and hospital staff shou5be making EVERY effort to have you reassured it's the right way for you. Voice your concerns... He/She may well be the very best for the procedure your being lined up for BUT that's no excuse for not giving you every option to be reassured.
 
I would feel nervous also. My gastro surgeon went through everything with me prior to the knife. Explaining how he was going to do it etc. Paper work was dealt with by the staff. He even visited me in hospital on discharge day right after a round of golf. Very pleasant as if you had known him for years. Also same great service from my wife's surgeon.
 
Your surgeon sounds like my GP, zero emotion clock watcher but she is efficient and does not hesitate to make referrals for a specialist.
I'm sure the surgery will go fine. Any chance to get another appointment with him prior to the day?
 
I had an operation on Wednesday. The surgeon was the complete opposite. Talked about specifics for me and when he got the scan he wrote to me telling me the implications (good thankfully). I would see if you can have another appointment to discuss specifically you.
 
Thanks for all the responses. I’ve talked it over with my wife and processed it a bit more and I’ve realised that it’s not just that the doctor didn’t refer to my specific scan and medical situation and didn’t engage with my questions in a helpful way, but that I’m deeply uncomfortable because I’ve been pushed down a path towards surgery where the risks don’t match the benefits to me personally. Now that I have that clarity, I can do the work to unwind things - probably involving another doctor instead. This morning I was really confused about the whole thing and your responses helped dispel that so thanks. I’ve got a way forward now.

The surgery is not considered major - should be pretty routine - but they wanted to do it in a way where brain fluid leaks and blindness are risks. Doesn’t make sense given my situation.
 
Glad to hear the responses given have helped you towards a decision... Wishing you all the best with this.
 
Good luck with whatever you decide, it has to be right for you not what might be easiest or cheapest for the hospital.

It's very unusual these days to find a doctor or consultant who doesn't engage and explain properly unlike the old days when they were treated like Gods and some thought they were.

I have a medical family btw including one who was a specialist heart surgeon so I've come across quite a few socially.
 
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Windows said:
Thanks for all the responses. I’ve talked it over with my wife and processed it a bit more and I’ve realised that it’s not just that the doctor didn’t refer to my specific scan and medical situation and didn’t engage with my questions in a helpful way, but that I’m deeply uncomfortable because I’ve been pushed down a path towards surgery where the risks don’t match the benefits to me personally. Now that I have that clarity, I can do the work to unwind things - probably involving another doctor instead. This morning I was really confused about the whole thing and your responses helped dispel that so thanks. I’ve got a way forward now.

The surgery is not considered major - should be pretty routine - but they wanted to do it in a way where brain fluid leaks and blindness are risks. Doesn’t make sense given my situation.
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As far as I can see, you're the patient and it's your body; you're entitled to every single bit of relevant information that the surgeon has. For him not to divulge the information seems totally unprofessional and very strange. When I had my prostate op ten years ago, the team I was dealing with bent over backwards to explain everything, so I was happy in the choice (one of three) that I eventually made - Rob
 
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I agree with everything that has been said and to be honest if it were me I'd insist on meeting the surgeon again and if still unhappy then request someone else.

Who is saying that you need the op. ? The whole thing smacks of poor healthcare. Carlisle ? I know that some have had OK results but they do have form.
Accipiter said:
Sorry to hear of your worries and concerns regarding your appointed surgeon. Id definitely be getting back in touch with him/the hospital - especially the hospital - and making them aware of your concerns.

I've had three operations to my wrist/hands area: a TFCC (Tri-fibro Cartlidge Complex) repair - left wrist, and Trapeziectomy to both thumbs (hence saying wrist/hands area). All done by the same surgeon who explained clearly what was involved and what he'd be doing. Because of this I had no concerns... worries? yes for possible effects of the anesthesia and such... but none for the operations.

You haven't said what the operation is for, fully respected, but whatever ANY operation is for the surgeon and hospital staff shou5be making EVERY effort to have you reassured it's the right way for you. Voice your concerns... He/She may well be the very best for the procedure your being lined up for BUT that's no excuse for not giving you every option to be reassured.
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Frank, I'd be interested to hear more about your hand/wrist ops as I suspect that I will need to be going down that root sometime in the future.
 
Sorry to hear that Roger... TFCC or the Trepeziectomy? Any questions just fire away and I'll do my best to answer them.
 
Been a bit busy, but I did change doctor. I had a meeting with the new one and she was totally normal and easy to talk to. I did see the scan. She listened to what I had to say, we agreed on a conservative approach to the surgery, and I should have it done sometime in the next month or so. Feeling pretty calm about it now.
 
Windows said:
Been a bit busy, but I did change doctor. I had a meeting with the new one and she was totally normal and easy to talk to. I did see the scan. She listened to what I had to say, we agreed on a conservative approach to the surgery, and I should have it done sometime in the next month or so. Feeling pretty calm about it now.
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Good outcome that, well done on persevering and standing your ground. They don't do it on purpose some surgeons/doctors. I always think of it as they have been through rigorous training for so many years that the social skills side of things is sometimes a bit lacking.

Thankfully lately new (outside teams, non med related) are also involved in their training and there's been a massive emphasis on people skills in the last 10 years. Things are catching up well.

I had similar - cross paths with them all the time so know and anti-social skills one from a good-social skills - when speaking to my be belly button hernia guy. But thankfully he did explain things reasonably well and am confident it will go well..

All the best with your surgery and recovery process.
 
Out of curiosity I wondered what the response of ChatGPT would be and paraphrased your original post substituting 'my sister'for 'I' etc. This was the well-reasoned reply.

Screenshot 2026-07-14 at 16.59.31.png
Screenshot 2026-07-14 at 16.59.55.png
 
Windows said:
Been a bit busy, but I did change doctor. I had a meeting with the new one and she was totally normal and easy to talk to. I did see the scan. She listened to what I had to say, we agreed on a conservative approach to the surgery, and I should have it done sometime in the next month or so. Feeling pretty calm about it now.
Click to expand...

Good news and exactly what should have happened the first time around. (y)

My wife had a bad experience 10 years ago with a consultant who said he didn't believe the pain came from her hip. Based his decision on one old X-ray and messed her around for months, he definitely didn't like to be questioned. She changed consultant who was completely different and had both hips done very quickly. The delays and errors of the first consultant caused lesions in the bone which needed grafts and had it been a few months longer the operation on at least one hip might well have been less successful.

Although her situation was uncommon you really have to question everything.
 
I’m sorry that happened to your wife. I hope she’s doing well and wasn’t too traumatised.

I had a bad medical experience decades ago - a collapsed lung that the GP refused to recognise because it wasn’t causing me pain despite the fact hospital had already x-rayed & confirmed and it was my second time - kept saying my symptoms were down to something else and sending me for blood tests instead of sending for another x-ray or to a specialist - crazy really. I could have just woken up dead at any time with a tension pneumothorax. I appreciate that most doctors are hard working, intelligent, professionals, but also they’re human and the joke about “what do you call the person who comes bottom of the class at medical school” is frequently on my mind following that experience.
 
Windows said:
I’m sorry that happened to your wife. I hope she’s doing well and wasn’t too traumatised.
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Thanks she's doing well. A bionic woman having had both hips and a knee replacements, both achiles which were serious operations and other medical conditions but she rarely complains. Maybe because she knows I don't listen and medical stuff goes straight over my head. 😏 She has an active social life where I'm just a miserable old git who potters around at home. :ROFLMAO:

My brother on the other hand hasn't fared well. Got something small in his eye and attended the eye hospital who removed it and gave him drops but it worsened and he was back and forward once, sometimes twice a week for two months. They couldn't find anything despite several scans and just kept seeing different levels of specialists and being given different eye drops. He was getting very bad headaches and losing vision in that eye but the were dismissive apparently. He went to his GP who suspected a brain tumour did a few tests and sent him to A&E where it was confimed as two large tumours right behind his eye. How they missed those from scans and didn't pick up on the headaches and vision is concerning and he's annoyed because it's cost him time he doesn't have as treatment could have started much earlier. Of course he should have questioned it more himself but trusted the professionals.

His prognosis is very poor as he discovered also has lung cancer which is the primary source though the brain tumours the most aggressive. He suffered a large brain midline shift which has now been corrected by steroids and chemo to start shortly so looking a bit more positive.

Sorry to dampen the mood of the thread, somebody post a joke please.
 
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I had the surgery - simple nasal polypectomy - it all went smoothly. Can breathe through both nostrils so it’s good. Took 18 months from diagnosis to surgery in the end. Hope to get back to doing some woody things soon, been doing nothing but painting for a while.
 
Glad it went well.

I had some polyps removed from my nose when I was in my early 20’s . The only thing I remember is waking up to see a nurse standing at the end of my bed pulling out the bandage!
 
It was so easy. On one side I just had a thin gel spray and the other had ‘packing’ but it was self-dissolving (or self-expelling at least) so no bandages and zero follow-up. My wife had her septum fixed and had bandages and 3 inch plastic splints left up there to be removed later so I was pleased to avoid something like that. I don’t know what the result would have been if they’d done the full sinus surgery that the first surgeon wanted to do.
 
Great news and totally vindicates your decision to change doctor.

Many years ago I had caught giardiasis resulting in many urgent visits to the khazi. Went on for days gradually getting weaker. Elderly GP about as useful as a chocolate teapot. I even bought a microscope and spent Xmas staring down it and found the little critters. GP basically said ‘What do you know about they look like?’ Gradually still going downhill.

Serendipity stepped in and I met a very good mate who was also a doctor and had done a stint abroad with the Army. He sussed immediately it was giardiasis and gave me a private prescription for metronidazole. That fixed it. Yet I continued to go downhill. A week or so on, my wife rang the surgery for an emergency appointment to little effect. Christmas pint with my doctor chum who sussed I was extremely dehydrated and told me in no uncertain terms to go the next day either to the surgery or A&E. Sensibly I went to A&E who gave me a saline drip and within minutes I was feeling better and very perky.

Happened to see the same GP a few weeks later for a routine appointment. Told him about the drip. He replied that he’d seen me walking in the village and thought I looked a bit peaky. Had to sit on my hands to restrain myself. I never saw him again.
 
Lons said:
Sorry to dampen the mood of the thread, somebody post a joke please.
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Two years ago a CT scan showed I had a restriction in my carotid arteries, which had caused a mini-stroke or two (so mini I never felt them). An MRi scan 3 weeks later showed I'd had a further mini-stroke.

I had another test the following Friday morning at the local hospital and before I'd left the hospital they were on the blower (a landline) and left a message on the answerphone to say I was booked in to have an operation on the following Monday.

My wife and I tried to contact the hospital to find out more, but only the receptionist got back to us - with no details.

So I showed up on the Monday morning, they prepped me, and as a final double check asked what I was in for. I answered "leg amputation for all I know".

Well I thought that was funny... :rolleyes:

Anyway, they had found my right carotid artery was 70%+ blocked, and flaking calcified cholesterol was causing the mini-strokes. They couldn't put in a stent because that would dislodge more cholesterol and likely cause a big stroke. So they cut me open, clamped the artery in two places, slit it open and scraped out the calcified crud.
0-2.jpg

As far as I know I've not had any more mini-strokes.

I'm considering a tattoo - maybe a zip.

Cheers, Vann.
 
Almost all of my maternal aunts and uncles, and mum, suffered mini-strokes, resulting in dementia. I believe (and hope) that the operation has helped me step off that path, and asprin and statins will keep me off.

At the moment I'm fine, active, fit, and as healthy as a 70 year old could hope for.

Of course, at 70 (3 score and ten) my warranty has run out. But I'm hoping to last a wee while yet.

I have to hang around a bit longer, I'm currently running a project to restore three old wooden railway carriages (see how I brought this back to woodworking 😉) dating to 1904, 1906 and 1907. The first one took 25 years to restore. We're 25% of the way through the second restoration - so I’m not allowed to shuffle off this mortal coil anytime soon.

So thanks, but yeah I'm okay now.

Cheers, Vann.
 
Cabinetman said:
That’s quite an undertaking, how many of you on a regular basis?
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There are six of us on a good day. One is a railway boilermaker, who retrained as a fitter when boilermaking became less in demand. He does welding when needed, but has also been helping on the lathe.
One is doing most of the work on assembling the bogies.
One's a chippy. Another assists with woodworking.
One was running the project, but is getting very old in the tooth. He now only assists with painting, making the tea, and maintaining the grounds. He been trying to hand the project on to me (unfortunately with some success).
My background is railway coachbuilding - but I've worked in a number of rolls in my 49 years on the railway.

We also have a couple of guys who work remotely (>300 miles away) who assist with making components.

But I'm feeling guilty for hijacking this thread.

Cheers, Vann.
 
Vann said:
Anyway, they had found my right carotid artery was 70%+ blocked, and flaking calcified cholesterol was causing the mini-strokes. They couldn't put in a stent because that would dislodge more cholesterol and likely cause a big stroke. So they cut me open, clamped the artery in two places, slit it open and scraped out the calcified crud.
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It may look drastic, but one of my neighbours had a minimally invasive treatment for similar, and just what you say happened, he did not make it.
Vann said:
I'm currently running a project to restore three old wooden railway carriages
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I like that. I think I should like to do something of this sort if I ever get to retire, and reach the end of my jobs list.
 
When I was in the air force we had a cross eyed dentist at one station. Whenever he was in the mess bar you had to be careful where you put your glass because he wasn’t fussy about which one he picked up, even early in the evening and even if the glass had less booze than his own.

I had to go to him for a molar extraction and he declared he had never known such a nervous patient. He did get the right tooth (eventually) but unfortunately his accuracy with the painkiller injections weren’t quite so successful.
 
I was back in yesterday for another go at sorting me out. The op went well and so far so good. But back to light duties for a while, hopefully a week or less.
 
Anyway, surgery and surgeon talk. As some of you might know, I work in the area and often am the one sharing paperwork of 'you can do this, but don't do that, etc'. Much to the 'obliviousness' of my family who still think they can 'tell me what to do 😆'. You guessed it, I ended up having surgery!!

After a 5 year wait with an umbilical hernia that I preferred to manage myself without surgery, the pain was often becoming too unbearable. So I took the advice of 'said family' and went to see the surgeons for the second time after being referred again by my GP.

One of my main concerns was/is 'going commando' as well as have a general anaesthetic and how I'd respond (especially when waking up, motormouth me). Anyway, so first the first surgeon.

Let's say he looked a 'hardened man'. No smiles, and just straight to the point. I got the feeling that if I asked him one question too many he'd get agitated... 'do you know who I am' and all that lark that some of those with the 'god-complex' seem to have. I just wanted to get it over and done with so I could recovered and get back to riding my bike!

The other problem (other than being operated on by a 'god-complex' surgeon) was the net-nickers and all that jazz. So during one of the pre-assessment clinics I brought up the subject. They really are too busy to have a useful conversation some of these nurses aren't they. They also obviously never listened at nursing school which taught us about 'patient dignity is right up there', 'patient centred care', 'if you can make accommodations then you should'. Anyway, her response to my question about me not going commando with just a surgical gown, on my 'walk of shame' to the operating theatres was 'oh you should know better Shafiq, you're a ****e'. That was the end of that!!

Anyway, surgery day came quickly as I had put my name down for a 'last minute cancellation' and it all transpired last week.

The nurse that admitted me was only slightly perplexed when I told her about my own 'boxer shorts' but was really really good. Emily was her name, and she was a good un. After a brief visit to 'net nickers' she quickly resolved that its only belly button surgery and if they needed to cut my boxers off, would it be a problem. 'Not at all' was my answer.

Hurdle one done, and don't tell anyone but they was slightly longer than standard boxers, and more like pyjama shorts 😆. They didn't need to cut them off...

Then came the surgeon who'd be operating. A younger chap, who didn't look like he'd developed the [I am a surgeon, you will call me 'Mr'] complex yet. Even when his junior doctor made a massive blunder by not filling out the consent form properly, he never got angry. Just slightly 'hmmm, ok'.

Operation time came and I still remember as a student ****e when I followed one of the operations during a placement. The anaesthetist as he was making small talk with the patients suddenly said, 'bye bye' and the patient was off to sleep/sedated. It was just like that for me and after taking the p out of the cannulation attempts, the next thing I knew was funny dreams and waking up. Then I ran my mouth off for a while but nowt rude, just loud!!

All went well, except for a bit of serious constipation and slightly urine retention when I got home. Going for a 10 mile light hike just now, but thought I'd write this. In case it helps anyone... Remember we don't have to wear them silly 'net nickers/boxers' if there is a reasonable excuse around it. Ugly undignified things (IMO)!!
 
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