• Hi all and welcome to TheWoodHaven2 brought into the 21st Century, kicking and screaming! We all have Alasdair to thank for the vast bulk of the heavy lifting to get us here, no more so than me because he's taken away a huge burden of responsibility from my shoulders and brought us to this new shiny home, with all your previous content (hopefully) still intact! Please peruse and feed back. There is still plenty to do, like changing the colour scheme, adding the banner graphic, tweaking the odd setting here and there so I have added a new thread in the 'Technical Issues, Bugs and Feature Requests' forum for you to add any issues you find, any missing settings or just anything you'd like to see added/removed from the feature set that Xenforo offers. We will get to everything over the coming weeks so please be patient, but add anything at all to the thread I mention above and we promise to get to them over the next few days/weeks/months. In the meantime, please enjoy!

A tad of mirth

There were three Indian squaws.
One slept on a deer skin, one slept on an elk skin, and the third slept on a hippopotamus skin.
All three became pregnant. The first two each had a baby boy. The one who slept on the hippopotamus skin had twin boys.
This just goes to prove that the squaw of the hippopotamus is equal to the sons of the squaws of the other two hides.
 
Evidence has been found that William Tell and his family were avid bowlers. Unfortunately, all the Swiss league records were destroyed in a fire, ... and so we'll never know for whom the Tells bowled.

Ok, I am on my way out.
 
I tripped over in the tailors shop yesterday.

Did they drag you up?

No, they fitted me up with a three piece suit.
 
Last edited:
Cabinetman said:
I have a feeling that that’s the Kray twins, didn’t know they were into woodworking? Nailing people to things maybe?
Click to expand...
I reckon you’ll find it’s from ‘Goodfellas’. Those guys didn’t have nail guns… just plain, simple shooters. Actually, it’s a good film and well worth hunting out.
 
A letter recently received at a local Highway Authority.

To whom it may concern,

Over the last few years, the condition of the road surfaces in the local area has eroded to such an extent that as I drive my tractor on those roads between different parts of my farm, it has been playing havoc with my haemorrhoids.

I have been using Preparation H for a few years now, but it still doesn’t seem to have helped.

In sheer desperation I went to my GP who has suggested I tried suppositories.

For all the good they have done, I might as well have shoved them up my bum.

Which is where I suggest you put this letter to give you an idea of what your roads feel like!

Yours

Uncomfortable of Chalfont St Giles
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top